A word of caution for any and all people who have sticks up their asses, the grammar in the following document will suck so please send all complaints to take_the_stick@out_of_your_ass.com. Thank you.
In the following document you will hear alot of words that you might not be familiar with such as: Kaleidoscope - a program that enables you to change the entire look of your computer via installing "schemes". These can be downloaded from the kaleidoscope web page www.kaleidoscope.net or with the right tools (the scheme builder) you can create one that you can call your own.
In Part 1 of this document you will learn some stuff that may be common knowledge to those who know/think they know everything about computers, so for those people DO NOT READ THE FOLLOWING DOCUMENT you will just get bored and get whiny so just go right past this document and read next month's.
Redecorating your macintosh or "Owning your box" as I like to call it. Owning your box can be done in many levels, from making a few original icons to creating your own kaleidoscope scheme with a personal set of icons (spent many a sleepless school night doing this.) Now to own your box you don't NEED to go as far as making your own scheme but it does make you feel good after you restart and you open a window and the menu and window look like the menus in your dreams, yeah that's a good feeling. Well enough of the prolouge now to your box. First things first you will need a hex editor, there are many on the market like Apple's ResEdit and Resourcerer... it is recommended that you get resorcerer because personally I like it and I will be giving instructions that are native to resorcerer so you might get lost if you use ResEdit. Having said that, however, Resourcerer is far from free. For more details go to www.mathemaesthetics.com. If you do not have a hex editor ACQUIRE ONE, either by going on hotline or by going onto www.download.com (I'm pretty sure they have it.) Secondly (this is only for the brave at heart) you need to go out and buy one or two 2liter bottles of coke (It's gona be a long night), these can be found at the nearest 711 or corner store. Once you have both of those you can begin the remodeling.
Icons and small graphics
Icons are by far the easiest way to personalize your computer. Now the first thing you are going to want to do is to open your hex editor and select new. Now you will be asked what kind of resource, choose icl8, once it opens you want to activate all of the little mini window thingies. Once that is done just draw/paint what ever the fuck you want and save. once that is finished grab and drop the pictue into all of the other window thingies (they all wont have the same quality some will even be black and white [oh my god!!!]). Once you are finished go back to the best looking one (icl8) and select all and copy. Quit the resource editor and select the file/folder you want the graphic to go on. get info on it and click on the file/folder's graphic, and paste (command-V). Your graphic will take the place of the old graphic and tada you have made your own icon!
Kaleidoscope 101
Now that you have mastered making icon (a l34t thing by the way ;P ) you can move on to bigger and better things. KALEIDOSCOPE, Now what you are going to want to do is to go and retrieve the scheme editor (again available from the kaleidoscope web page). Once you have the scheme editor you will probly want to open an already existing scheme (it can't be an intricate looking one because instead of just colors good ones use pictures which you will learn to use in the next issue). Once you have found your ugly bland looking kaleidoscope scheme (or KS) you will open it. Once opened look around and see all the intricate workings of the inside of a scheme (extremely basic unless you are retarded :P ). Get your self some what acquainted with the look of a medeocre KS. Once you are acquainted with the colors and where shit goes try to create one your self. After finishing your ugly scheme try it out, making sure to quit the scheme editor before you try out your scheme. Now try out your scheme and say ewwww that's ugly, "Please teach me how to make kick ass looking schemes like you". Then I say "Sorry but you will have to wait till next month in the next issue of Happle where I cover "Editing pictures to make better looking schemes, and "Making a quasi-good looking about box in adobe", but until then bye and have phün with your ugly scheme.
If you have any real questions, hate mail or nude pictures of your self please send them to LordKnow1@home.com
